Alison in PRINT

Cross border shopping addict has wife hopping mad...

Toronto Star - December 3, 2009

Q: This may sound crazy but since the dollar has gone up my husband has become a shopping addict. Not here in Canada but across the border. He and his buddies go to the US and load up on car toys and electronics. I’m sick of all this stuff in the garage. The last straw was a kid’s battery operated replica of the race car someone famous drove. It cost $999 in the States and he says the same thing is $1599 in Canada. But we don’t even have kids. We both make over $75,000 and he says he can afford his hobby. Should I just pray for the dollar to go down? M. D.

A: There are recreational widows from one end of this country to another. Golf, boats, fishing, cars all have a high mortality rate among the fairer sex. Shopping takes its toll of budgets and time too but usually this is something couples do together, especially when it tips over into obsession.

Most cross border shoppers ignore all the additional costs of getting there and back, including gas, food, the exchange rate, GST and, of course, duty. In many cases these extras nullify the “deals” offered by our cousins to the south.

The best defense here is a good offense. Take some of his bargains and do your own math. Find the same item in Canada, estimate the extra costs and call 1-800-461-9999 to determine duty. If he is using a credit card, the exchange rate will be less favorable.

If the deals do turn out to be less than sweet this isn’t about saving money but about getting away with the guys. And that calls for guerrilla tactics. Next time, go with him.


Q: My friend is going through a divorce with a husband who is basically pressuring her to give him money for his dream house in order to buy his good behaviour through the proceedings. Is there any advice I can give her that might help beyond the obvious? She just lost her father and is the backbone of her family so she’s under tremendous stress and thinks giving in will bring her peace. Serena

A: What a good friend you are. Here's the best advice I can give after long experience listening to people talk about financial issues and divorce. Get a lawyer. This is not even about the money. It is about engaging a third party to stand between her and her husband. It is about stress relief. It is about having someone to talk to when things get ugly and, from the sound of the husband, ugly is not far off.

A lawyer will also be able to counsel her about expectations, negotiate on her behalf and lay out a reasonable course of action. Your friend cannot do this herself, particularly with the stress she is already under, and you can’t either.

But you can help by accompanying her to an initial consult with a lawyer. Above all, urge your friend not to make any financial decisions just for the sake of easing things in the short term. Chances are she will regret them when the dust settles.

Q: We are expecting $4,000 from my husband’s parents for Christmas. We don’t have RESPs for our 10 year-old-twins. Should we use the money for that? We don’t have much debt beyond our mortgage but we also haven’t put much in our RRSPs. Claire and Owen

A: Why not split the difference? Depositing $2,000 will attract $400 in Canada Education Savings Grants. Hard to beat that kind of return. Contribute the rest to the RRSP of the person in the higher tax bracket and put the tax refund into the RESP. It’s a win all round.